


my sweetest sin

by charjace



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Friends With Benefits, M/M, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 02:11:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11773317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charjace/pseuds/charjace
Summary: My eyes roll back to see and then fateI breathe you inExalt your flamesLet's lose our minds, come here to meWe're wasting timeDarling, can you hear me?





	my sweetest sin

**Author's Note:**

> title and summary taken from _sleeping with sirens_ **heroine**

He isn't sure how this had all started, okay, that's a complete and utter lie. He knows exactly how it happened – the memory always plaguing is mind whenever he wonders how this had all happened, and how they had managed to put themselves into this mess.

*-*-*

It was one of Magnus' parties, after everything everyone has been through with Valentine and Sebastian, it was something they needed to relax. Downworlders and Shadowhunters alike all under the same roof with no animosity. It was progress, and it was great. He had just finished talking with Clary before she had been pulled away by Maia. His eyes roamed over the room, catching sight of Magnus and Alec engaging in a chat with Raphael and Meliorn, finding Isabelle with Lydia dancing with a few Seelie's with smiles upon their lips. Maryse was having a talk with Luke, and Robert wasn't there and Max was running around with a few of the warlock children. He couldn't help but smile a little to himself, it was nice to not have to worry about anything for a small while.

"You, smile? Didn't realise that was a thing?" A familiar voice broke through his track of thoughts causing him to turn his head to see the male next to him. He just raised an eyebrow slightly, and the brunette must have taken it as an invitation to continue on, "I mean, I know it hasn't been easy for you recently. But like even before..." He makes a gesture with his hands, like something blowing up, "you were kinda grumpy faced. Or just had a look of annoyed on our face."

"I smile," He says, because he does. It's just not something he tends to show to others, because  **emotions cloud judgement** , it affected him in every aspect of his life, even to the way he expresses emotions upon his features.

There is a soft chuckle from the male next to him, and he doesn't know why he's feeling like his lips want to tug into a smile. He doesn't know why they always do whenever the other tells one of his lame mundane jokes. "Do you think Magnus would mind if I used one of the rooms?"

"Uh..."

Now, he lets out a small laugh before grabbing hold of the jacket the brunette was wearing, setting his glass down before pulling him down a small hallway, just before he walked them into a room he looked into those warm eyes and asks, "Are you okay with this?"

It was pretty clear what his intentions were, at least, he hoped it was. He waited until he got a nod and was pushed into the room with a gentle push. He let a smirk spread across his lips, eyes watching as the downworlder walked past the threshold to the room, kicking the door shut with his foot. Honestly, he'd tell you it's the alcohol that he's consumed as to why he's letting this happen – why he let himself ask  _him_  of all people to do this with. But, deep in his mind he knows truth.

Clothes were quickly off, lips attaching everywhere and anywhere that they could find themselves as hands roam new places that they've never been before. It was a great feeling. Their moans quickly filling the room as sweet spots were found and abused. The sex, it was amazing and he didn't want it to end, but it did and he was pulling on his boxers as he watches the brunette slip on the shirt he had been wearing from before, then he was out the door leaving him alone to finish getting redressed. The words  _it's just sex_ , left hanging in the air.

That is all it would be, a one-night stand with someone he knew. He could do that, he  _has_  done that. It shouldn't be hard, right? Well...

A week later he's finding himself in Simon's room, in the apartment he shares with a werewolf he's learned is named Bat. He is finding himself moaning as Simon's lips are moving their way down his jawline, down his neck and chest, taking his time and getting as much noise he can get out of the blond. Jace wanted to tell him to hurry it up, but his mouth didn't work because he was  _enjoying_  the teasing and he didn't want it to end again.

 **It's just sex** , the words repeating in his mind as he's pulling on his pants, eyes not leaving the sleeping form that is Simon. Some part of him wanted  _more_  from this, some part of him didn't wish that this was just sex. But, it was. Simon was just a friend – because that is what they were now, friends, at least he hopes so.

It happens almost  _once_  every week for two months, and Jace doesn't know what to do with himself. It was just supposed to be sex, the  **one**  time. Yet, he always seems to find himself under Simon's touch every time he manages to convince himself of that. Having Simon in that way was like some kind of addiction that he couldn't shake, something that he wanted more of.

They haven't had sex in  _almost_  two now, and Jace thinks it's a feat, he truly does. He's in his room curled up on his bed with a book in his hands when there is a knock upon his door. Eyes looking up to see Isabelle he flashes a smile, a silent way to tell her to come in and she does.

She takes a seat on his bed, a small smile upon her red painted lips, "You're looking very  _content_  for someone going a break up."

Isabelle's words make Jace look up from where he had returned to reading, a confused look spread across his face, "What? I haven't been dating anyone Iz."

Arching eyebrow, Isabelle looks at him like what he said wasn't passing her by, like she knew something he didn't. "Oh, so you and Simon are fine then?"

"What!" He forgets his book as he bolts right up, eyes staring at his sister, "There is  _nothing_  going on between us. We're friends... who occasionally have sex is all."

"Oh my angels! I  _knew_  something was going on," She says with a big grin upon her lips, and he feels like he had just been played. He probably had, knowing her. Before Jace can ask anything, she trails on, "You sneak off, and one time I followed you to Simon's. Then when you come back, you have this afterglow sort of while also somehow looking like someone kicked your puppy."

"I do  _not,"_  He says with a small huff.

"Uh-huh, _and_  Alec said he's felt that you are  _happier_  at times followed by extreme sadness. Jace... Are you sure that it's just sex?" Her voice seems to be filled with some kind of worry, and he knows it's because she cares about him.

"Yeah... I'm sure," Jace answers, but even the answer sounds false to his ears. "Just sex."

Isabelle flashes him a smile, it doesn't meet her eyes like she knows he's lying to her but also trying convey that she cares for him. She reaches a hand to give his shoulder a squeeze, "Maybe you should stop if you aren't sure."

Jace gives a small nod of his head, going back to reading his forgotten book as Isabelle leaves his room. He doesn't tell her that is what he's been doing, that he's been avoiding Simon because he isn't sure that it is  _just_  sex, at least not for him. After the chapter he is on, he finds himself grabbing his phone and heading out into the night.

Letting his legs take him where ever they wanted too, he didn't care. He just wanted to  _do_  something active, so why does it surprise him that he's standing in front of Simon. Simon who looks at him with a light glare, and Jace can't help but feel his lips fall down into a frown.

"You've bee-," Simon doesn't finish his sentence because Jace is crashing his lips against Simon's.

Lips hungry for lips he's been craving, devouring in light tang of blood he can taste upon Simon's lips telling him that Simon has recently feed. Savouring the strangled moans Simon's throat produces as Jace presses his body against his. Feet moving them towards the familiar bedroom, as the leather jacket that the Shadowhunter had been wearing has been discarded halfway to the room.

Once in the room, Jace pushes Simon onto the bed, grinning as Simon moves further onto the bed and he's moving himself on top of Simon. Lips attaching to the vampire's hip as he pushes the shirt up, lips trailing up and then the shirt is off. Jace is sucking upon Simon's neck as he rolls his hips against Simon's. The moan that left the brunette made Jace do it again. He wants to hear it over and over, so he continues to move his hips against Simon's. The Shadowhunter is so enthralled by the sounds that he doesn't want it to stop. He can feel Simon's fingers running up and his back, making him let out a shudder because it was just so  _delicate_  and he loved it. Really, he should get to taking off his own shirt and their pants but that would mean Simon would stop touching him like that for a few seconds and he didn't want that, so he kept pressing his lips all over Simon's skin as their hips continued to meet each other. 

"J-Jace, we... oh... shit... J-Jac-," Simon's voice a stuttering mess, and Jace knew what it meant because he was there too.

He lifts his head enough so that he could watch as Simon comes undone with the last few rolls of their hips, and Jace finds it to be the most amazing thing he's watched as he too comes undone, eyes rolling back a little and this was the kind of ecstasy he liked. The kind that he loved, and it must be why his mind supplies him with; _you love him._

It scares him that his mind could easily tell him that, and he's rushing out the door, tuning out Simon's worried voice. Simon's voice so full of concern because apparently, he wore his emotions on his sleeve in the hast of things. He's not Simon, he doesn't know how to deal with these emotions. He has flings, but that is it. Love, it's never become a factor and he's scared out of his mind.

It's breakfast, and Alec is looking at him. He tries to shrug it off, but he can't and he snaps, "What?"

"Are you okay? Last night, I felt you so  _happy_  then it was gone? What happened?" Alec asks, eyes scanning over Jace like he was looking for any physical damage.

"Nothing. I'm-," Jace's sentence it interrupted by Isabelle walking into the room and she was glaring hard at Jace.

"You do  _not_  tell someone you love them and  _dash_ ," Isabelle speaks, her words sounding matter of fact, like it was  _common_  knowledge. "You had Simon worried sick!"

"What are you on about Izzy?" Alec questions, eyes now upon his sister, confusion settled upon his features.

"Simon thinks he did something wrong because you're not answering his calls. Jace, why? I told you to stay away if you thought it wasn't just sex," Her voice going soft at the end as did her features. "Simon is in my room, talk to him."

Jace was stunned, he did  _what_  now? No, he couldn't have. He didn't answer any of Simon's calls or text, scared he would say those words and his heart would be out there for Simon to tear apart. He feels Isabelle give him a push and his feet take him to her room and just like she said, Simon was there on her bed. His head hung low, Jace wants to go over to him and just hold him tight. "What did I do wrong?" Simon's voice was quiet, but they filled the silent room. There was a lingering pain in his voice, and it hurt Jace to know that he was the cause of it.

"Nothing," It was an honest answer. All Simon did was  _exist_  and Jace can't blame him for that, he can't blame Simon that he fell for him. He can't blame anyone but himself. "I... I didn't know I said those words. I just thought;  _you love him_  and that scared me so, I left. I didn't realise I said them and I'm sorry. I know it was just some sex, and I probably helped ruin yet  _another_  relationship."

"Jace," Hearing his name coming from Simon's mouth was usually a delight, something he longed for but the way it sounded now. How his name sounded defeated like it was a struggle just to get it pass his lips made his heart drop, "I thought it was too. Then, when you didn't come around, or answer any of my calls, or even look in y direction, that was when I realised that I had wanted  _more_ than just sex from you. But, I thought that is all you wanted, especially when you came over last night. I was telling myself that it was just sex. That this was the sign, the proof I needed to know that is what you thought too. Then you... why didn't we? Then you left after you said  _I love you_."

Silence fell between them, Jace decided to sit next to Simon before breaking the quiet, "I didn't want you to stop moving your hands up and down my back. I liked how soft the touch was and thought that if I took off my shirt, that the touch would turn rough and I didn't want it too."

"So... you got us off in our  _pants_  because you couldn't just ask for me to go gentle with my hands? If you asked me to continue, I would have. I would have Jace," Simon replies, moving his hand to softly brush against Jace's thigh. "I like touching you. Soft and rough."

There is a twitch of Jace's lips, and he feels like this is the best thing to happen to him. Feeling better now, he moves so that he's in Simon's lap, knees on either side of Simon's hips. "I like it when you touch me, rough or soft." He truly did, he liked them both. The soft touches made him feel special, feel loved in a way he never thinks possible until the touch, and the rough touches, they excite him, they make him feel something other than some fragile piece of glass.

"Just so you know," Simon muses, arms moving around Jace's waist to hold Jace against him. Jace's arms moving to rest upon Simon's shoulder, hands clasping in the brunette's hair. "I love you too."

And with that, they lean in and lips press together, much softer and slower than all the other times, and one of Simon's hands is moving itself softly up and down Jace's back as the kiss deepens, Jace humming a little because it's jsut so  **good**. They're not sure how long they just sit there, kissing and hand moving up and down, but they do know is they pull apart when Isabelle's whip cracks causing them to pull apart.

"Not in my room, shoo," Is all that she says, her whip coiling itself back around her wrist while her other hand is giving the shooing motion and they leave her room. They make it into Jace's room before they start kissing again.

That was all they did, they kissed until they couldn't anymore and then Jace was called in for duty, and Simon had a class he had to go to. Though, it was okay because now they both know where they stood, it wasn't just sex and they were okay with that.


End file.
